The Cure of an Episode
by dorkfais
Summary: Roy has another surge of Ishval flashes and memories. Riza is there, even if he had wanted to tackle this alone.


The flashes and blasts were back. Everything around him was falling apart as he dashed from behind one building to another. Safe zone after safe zone was being compromised. He had no idea who was still alive, who was dead, and who was struggling to keep living. Bullets hit the wall the second he disappeared behind a fragmented wall, crouching below a hole created by an artillery blast.

It didn't take Roy long to become restless in his sleep. He tossed and turned, eventually gripping his pillow and sheets for security, if not also because he needed to keep his hands steady and ready.

He tugged his gloves down his wrists, clenching his fists when gunfire ceased. Pushing off the ground for a moment gave him enough time to scan the area. Bullets ripped towards him, all but one pelting the wall, while the stray whizzed right by his ear. An obscenity was spat from his lips when he turned and rose up high enough to snap and blast a pile of rubble that would give him cover to escape.

His brows furrowed as he dreamt, real horrors of blood, gunshots, explosions, and plumes of flames and smoke permeated the images his mind produced.

It was not long before he was shaken awake by something in his system, something of alarm and resistance. His hand clutched to his side, gripping the fabric of his light, button down shirt. After a few moments, his hand relaxed and fell against the soft mattress, a contrast to the rough, stony ground of Ishval.

He pinched the bridge of his nose as he clamped his eyes shut. He tried to slow his breathing, but four shallow and quick breaths alerted his conscience that he needed to clear his head. Before slipping from under the covers, he cautiously turned to Riza, whose breaths were deep and relaxed as she slept. To his surprise, she was not showing any signs of disturbance. Whether she was in the middle of a dream or a deep period of sleep, Roy was not going to disturb her if he did not have to. If anything, he hoped she was dreaming of something good. He smiled weakly at the thought, slipping from under the covers so his feet touched the cool floor.

Five minutes later would find him sitting on the couch, occasionally pacing and forcefully shoving the painful memories from his mind. He needed to think clearly. He needed to remember that that was not happening right now. They were safe, away from direct harm. This was not Ishval, this was home.

After what felt like quite a long time, he settled on the couch. Elbows on his knees, he laced his fingers and lowered his head so his nose rested on his fingers. Hayate trotted in with a yawn, having picked up on Roy's paces. The hound stopped beside his leg with a lolling tongue and sat down at his feet. Roy reached for his head, scratching behind Hayate's ear. He watched his head nuzzle into his palm before his hand fell to Hayate's back. The dog tilted his head, confused at the lack of ear scratches before he jumped onto the couch and settled his head against Roy's lap.

To his displeasure, if only slight, the door behind him clicked open. With a turn of his head and a cringe, he caught sight of Riza. Hayate's perking up at the sound of the door creaking shut. She stood by the door, her hand on the door handle as they watched each other. A pang went through his chest. He turned away, shutting his eyes.

It only brought the bloodshed back, and it was clearer this time.

Riza was settling beside him when he reopened his eyes. Roy tried to give her a convincing half smile, but before he knew it, she was up, turning a lamp on and heading to the kitchen. His eyes stayed on the spot on the wall where she disappeared around the corner and never moved until he saw her again. His gaze followed her until she handed him a glass of water.

He eyed it for a moment as she settled beside him, stroking Hayate's soft coat and calming the dog down. Hayate set his head against Roy's thigh again. "At least drink some of it."

He exhaled silently and took a long sip. The cup was then on the table in front of them, his elbows on his knees again. Before he could stop any physical reactions from worrying her, his brows furrowed deeply.

"You're having dreams again," Riza murmured, moving closer to him and setting a hand on his forearm. He glanced towards her, hating himself for so many reasons. "How long have they been happening?"

It took a while for him to register how to respond. He never wanted to worry her, even if that technically was her job. At this moment they were not in the line of duty and he would handle as much of it as he could by himself. He stood up, walking around the table in front of him and freezing when his gaze settled on the phone in front of him.

Riza watched him closely. It didn't surprise her that that was the cause of his anxiety and behavior, whether _he_ realized it or not. What it indicated was that she was not going to force anything from him. This was a process that was slow going. They both had their good days and bad days, both of which had ways when they could be shoved back down or handled. The worst action to take was to be alone. It meant they could be alone in their thoughts, and their thoughts would only progressively get worse.

She stood and strode over to meet him, taking his face in her warm hands and inclining his neck in order for his forehead touch hers. "Roy." His eyes settled on the scar on her throat. She swallowed, stroking a thumb against his cheekbone. "Roy, look at me."

The time between her words and his eyes rising to meet hers made her more anxious. "Roy, listen to me," she said softly, blinking slowly. "Maes would not want you to be like this."

Roy shook his head, but Riza kept her hands steady. They were soft against his skin but held him in place securely. "Roy."

His eyes met hers again and she swallowed again at the sight of his pained and haunted expression. It pulled at her heart strings as she sorted out another response. To her surprise, his hands slowly, but eventually, settled under her elbows, tensing and relaxing as he debated whether to pull her close and be with her in silence or listen to what she had to say.

"You aren't going to let him down," the murmured, gazing worriedly at him. "Roy, what matters," she continued, her hands running from his face to his arms, one moving to his side and the other pressing over his heart, "is that he is there, in both of us. He would not want to see you like you are now, and just because of what happened does not mean he isn't here. Regardless of what has happened and what will happen."

She paused, searching for any relief in his tense expression. His eyes shut, his brows furrowing dangerously. She could see that he was trying to hard not to shake, so she pressed her hands against him if only to steady him, mostly resisting pulling him close for just another moment. She was going to help him steady himself, but he needed to actually _do_ that.

"He would still want you to move forward. He would want you to stand up and keep moving," Riza murmured, her gaze dropping to the ground. "Nothing like that is going to happen again, Roy, not if you're going to be President or-" the thought made a smile quirk her lips up, "-if I have any say in it."

The memories and images had obviously taken their toll. Riza stood by him, patiently waiting for any signs that indicated that he was improving. She knew he wouldn't be cured, but she absolutely loathed seeing him like this. The only thing that could be worse than not knowing what to do was knowing exactly how someone felt when they went through episodes as painful as this.

Slowly but surely he lifted his head. Riza pressed her hand against the back of his head where it met his neck. The gleam in his eye was far less haunting as he gazed at her. His hand gripped hers over his heart and he inclined his head to press his forehead against hers. A small, content sigh escaped her lips. His lips curved into a weak smile.

"I'm sorry for not telling you," he murmured, his voice thick from the remaining pain, "I thought I …should try to handle this on my own. Then I wouldn't have to worry you."

Riza shook her head. "You are _hopeless_," she replied. "I will always worry, because I _care_ about you, you idiot." He chuckled, the vibrations from his chest resonating against her hand as he pressed a long kiss to her forehead. "We always worry for people, Roy. It's because we want to protect them."


End file.
